Finding Hope Read online

  “No, nothing yet,” Helen said. “Haven’t gotten any deliveries in five days now. We’re starting to run low on many things. How’s your boy up in Lincoln? Is business picking up for him?”

  Mrs. Avery voice cracked awkwardly as she answered, “Well things are getting better. His wife and kids are doing well, and the school has re-opened. Last I heard, the kids' grades were exceptional.” Leaning in close to Helen, Mrs. Avery continued, “I’m a bit concerned though because I haven’t seen a letter from him in over a month. I wish I could be with them. They’re just so far away.”

  “I’m sure everything’s fine. Things in Nebraska have always been stable. Life just gets busy, ya know,” Helen said lightly patting Mrs. Avery’s shoulder.

  “Did you hear about the girl in Clearview? She went missing the night before last,” Mrs. Avery explained with a worried look on her face, “She was helping a family friend with some preserves and never made it home. It’s was a two mile walk, but she never showed up later that night.”

  “Are they out looking for her?” Helen asked with concern.

  “I don’t know, but how horrible is that? Her family must be sick with fear,” Mrs. Avery whispered.

  “Well, let me know if you hear anything,” Helen said grasping Mrs. Avery’s hand.

  “You know I will,” Mrs. Avery said with a comforting smile. “Anyhow, I need a couple things if you have them,” she continued. “I need aspirin, more fertilizer, and I have two jackets that need mending. Do you think that’s possible?” Mrs. Avery said trying to remain upbeat.

  “Well, we have the granulated nitrogen, but the aspirin will be a week or so,” Helen said. “And the jackets should be ready in four days. Hope’s been busy and has several items to mend.”

  “I understand. She’s does such a great job with everything she repairs. Just let me know when they’re ready for me to pick up. By the way, how’s Cal?” Mrs. Avery asked with genuine interest.

  “He’s better, still a bit tired, but then again, who isn’t?” Helen said with a chuckle. “Well say hi for me. We’ll have you two out for supper when he’s feeling better,” Mrs. Avery said as she turned to leave.

  “Will do,” Helen said. “You have a safe day, and I’ll see you soon.”

  Helen gathered up the jackets and walked to the attached store room. “We’ve got two more for ya Hope,” Helen said with affection.

  The store room was bare with only a few supplies remaining. In the corner of the clean and almost empty room stood a small table with a sewing machine on top of it. Sitting, working hard at the small table, Hope looked up and smiled at Helen. “Just put them on the shelf. I should be able to get them done by late tomorrow afternoon,” she said.

  “Thanks again for all your hard work. I’m always hearing how good you are,” Helen explained as she patted Hope’s shoulder. “Are you still planning on going to the town social? People sure would love to hear you play.”

  Hope stood up with her eyes bright and youthful and took Helen’s hand. “Hopefully Julian will be feeling better soon because I’ve been looking forward to social for a while now,” Hope said smiling. “Thomas and I sure could use a night out together.”

  Hope had been playing guitar since she was young girl growing up in Ocean City, Maryland. Her father, a dear but unconventional man, had a passion for the world and all things it contained. Constantly seeking meaning, he’d focus obsessively on whatever caught his attention until he grew tired of it. It wasn’t that he was undisciplined, it was simply that he felt his time was short and there was so much beauty in the world to consume.

  One thing very important to him was music. He had filled Hope’s childhood home with all sorts of musical instruments. He had become a proficient guitar player and also dabbled in percussion, piano, and anything else he could tune and made noise. Even though her father was unable to stick to anything, he was able to succeed in life because he saw things differently than most, which made him valuable to all. She loved her kind father who sparkled with unique individuality.

  Hope will always remember the countless hours she spent with him playing music. They would play deep into the night. When Hope would make a mistake, her father would look up kindly. With his peaceful green eyes, he’d signal her to try again. He’d slowly and carefully strum each string until she was able to reproduce the gentle sounds. As the strings sang out, they drifted along, riding the melody and harmonies together.

  The Mountain Goats were her father’s favorite band, and she had learned many of their songs note for note. This band’s music was the perfect match for her father’s gentle spirit. Singing about life and loss, with philosophical and biblical themes, The Mountain Goats wriggled their way into her father’s soul. And now they defined a large part of who she’d become. These meaningful and emotional moments with her father played out night after night. That is, until the day he died without warning from congestive heart failure when Hope was only thirteen years old.

  Time slips by slowly in the small town of Impel. Days blur together as people struggle to meet their most basic needs. Food, water, and fuel consume their daily activities like obsessive animals gathering all they can. The sun rises and sets as the same schedule is repeated, day after day.

  “Good afternoon Mrs. Cleary. What a beautiful sunny day we have today,” said Thomas as he inspected the fresh produce before him.

  “It sure is Tommy. It’s gorgeous. Say how’s your boy Julian?” asked Mrs. Cleary.

  “Some days are better than others. It’s the fevers that worry us most. I heard that whatever he has is still floating around getting people sick,” Thomas said with warm, sullen eyes. “You always have the best produce,” Thomas added trying to change the subject. "How do you keep the quality so high? Look at these tomatoes, so perfectly ripe.”

  Mrs. Cleary, feeling proud of all her hard work boasted, “It’s all about picking only what I need to sell.” Mrs. Cleary prides herself on her abilities in the garden. She wakes up each morning to gather her vegetables while the day is cool and the morning dew is still thick. She then carefully stocks her little cart and heads to town ready to feed the people she’s known her whole life.

  “Tonight I’m going to make a special dinner for Hope. We’ve been struggling, and I think this will add some normalcy back into our lives,” Thomas explained. “Yes, a special meal.”

  Thomas grabbed a few assorted vegetables and a couple packages winter wheat. “Tommy, wait right here. I have something special for you. Hank owes me a favor. Hold on just a second,” Mrs. Cleary whispers while playfully fluttering her wrinkled, bright eyes. She turned and walked down the block into Hank Wilson's lumber mill. Moments later she emerges with a small sack and a glowing smile. “Here, take this. Fresh caught this morning. I heard Hank talking about it just thirty minutes ago and since he owes me, they’re yours,” she remarked in a firm but loving tone.

  Thomas opened the sack full of ice and buried inside sat two beautiful rainbow trout. Dazzling arrays of color splashed along the fresh fish sparkling in the warm and promising sunshine. She then handed Thomas a true treasure ― a bottle of red wine.

  “Take this too. You kids deserve a little fun,” she said squeezing his forearm.

  Thomas was overwhelmed by the kindness and the amazing gesture. He began to cry. “It’s just so hard,” Thomas said trying to wipe away his spilling eyes. “We want Julian to get better, but we don’t know what else to do.”

  “Have you heard anything ‘bout when the doctor will be back?” Mrs. Cleary asked.

  “That’s just the thing. He was supposed to be back last Tuesday. I guess he has many people he needs to see,” Thomas said. “Hope and I feel paralyzed as we wait. Just the thought of not being able to help is killing us.”

  “Tommy, I miss your mother every day. She was like a sister to me. You know you can come to me with anything,” said Mrs. Cleary.

  Thomas, clearly moved by the outflow of affection, put on a brave face and said, “I appr
eciate that so much. Look at me over here. I’m a mess. Anyway, I should probably get back to my dinner. Thank you so much for your kindness. This will surely make a difference.”

  Mrs. Cleary leaned in and embraced Thomas while saying, “You go have a good time. I’m always here if you need anything.”

  “You have a great day, and I look forward to seeing you at the social. Tomorrow night. You’ll be there right?” Thomas asked.

  “Of course I’ll be there, wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Mrs. Cleary said as she waved her gentle and aging hand. Thomas walked away.

  Thomas graciously took the bottle of wine and slid it into the oversized inside pocket of his dusty and fading hunting jacket. With the vegetables and fish slung over his shoulder, Thomas began to walk back to the center of town. As he walked, he could feel the warm summer air on his face. The morning sun slid into the shadows among the abandoned stores. The few remaining shops were alive with activity and full of familiar faces nodding at Thomas as they passed by. Thomas thought to himself how amazing it was that just four years ago this quaint town was packed with tourists and people making it home. Turning the corner of 5th and Vine, Thomas remembered the night in April a couple years back when the cruel men came and gutted his lifelong home. Now the telephone poles stood isolated, like maypoles without the joy of the May Day Festival.

  They came for copper, cutting the wire from the telephone poles and spooling it up for future use. Although these men wore military uniforms, they were anything but patriotic. They took supplies, food, and fuel as they moved through town like a virus. There were even stories of rape and violence as some people from town were never seen again. Although the resilient town was able to repair their lives, their structure remained forever fractured.

  “Mommy," cried the weak voice. “I need a drink of water.”

  Hope walked into the musty room with a glass of cloudy water saying, “How you feeling sweetie? It’s nice to see you moving around a bit.”

  Julian was looking thin and frail, a paler version of his former self. Julian was a wonderful child. He was a true product of Hope’s amazing parenting. She spent so much time teaching him about life, strength, and the virtues of being human. It was a long standing joke among those who knew them that Hope parented as if she had something to prove. Hope once sat quietly and watched Julian ignore his friends on the playground to help the Cleary’s boy who had been paralyzed from the waist down since birth. Despite the teasing and unkind words of children, Julian spent his time patiently helping the boy. This warmed Hope’s soul and reminded her of the strength her father once had.

  “We still need to get food in you. Are you hungry?” Hope asked gently, caressing Julian’s cheek.

  “No, just thirsty,” Julian said pulling the blanket up below his chin. “Where’s Daddy?”

  “He went to get more food. He’ll be back in a couple hours. Get some sleep now. I need to get some work done, but I’ll be just in here if you need anything,” Hope said quietly. “I love you so much.”

  “I love you too,” Julian whispered as he fell back asleep.

  Hope walked back into the room where her piles of torn and worn out garments were waiting for her. She sat down and began. Carefully stitching perfect rows of thread, she expertly conducted her craft. Like an artist, she’d perfectly backstitched her seams and then tacked them for reinforcement. Her workmanship was well known in her little community, and people from all around would bring her items to repair. Her fingers had become so nimble and could untangle any knot. Years of experience and deep sense of patience delivered the highest level of quality in her work. She’d get lost in her thoughts while impeccably mending anything in front of her. Although she enjoyed the speed and simplicity of sewing machines, she truly loved to hand stitch because she could maintain the purest accuracy. Aside from guitar and the music of her father, there was nothing Hope enjoyed more than sewing and repairing the tattered fabric.

  Thomas arrived home just before three pm. A wonderful surprise was waiting for him right outside the hardware store.

  “Tommy boy, you son of a bitch! How ya doing,” shouted a deep a friendly voice. “Get over here!”

  Thomas looked up and saw his lifelong friend Gabe Winter. “Gabe, I can’t believe they still let people like you into town,” Thomas said embracing his old friend in a firm, warm hug.

  “You boys gonna just stand there and ignore me like I’m some sort of leper,” Faith, Gabe’s beautiful wife, said in a sarcastic but loving tone.

  “Faith, I could never ignore you. I’ve been waiting for Gabe to die off so we could slip away for years now,” Thomas said as he winked and put his arm around her thin yet muscular shoulders. “Hope is going to be so happy to see you two. Are you here for the social?”

  “No, we’re here just to see you and enjoy your sparkling personality,” Gabe said sarcastically while messing up Thomas’s greasy hair. “It’s so great to see you and good to be back,” Gabe said planting a forceful, wet kiss in the middle of Thomas’s dusty forehead.

  Gabe and Thomas had been friends since they could remember. Growing up next door to one another, their stories number in the thousands. They shared everything, including all of their life experiences. They played baseball together when they were just children. They went to the same schools, shared the same friends, and even shared each other's families. Even when Gabe met Faith, Thomas was a fixture in their lives. Several years ago they moved to a neighboring town forty-five miles away to work his father’s old farm.

  “It’s been so long since we’ve seen you two. Hope is going to be tickled,” Thomas said with an uncontrollable smile. “What’s it been, a year now?”

  “I think it’s been longer than a year, but who really knows anymore?” Gabe said dusting off his jacket.

  “So how’d you get to town and where are you staying?” Thomas asked trying to catch his breath.

  “We caught a ride on the Anderson’s wagon, and we’re hoping to stay with you guys,” Faith said seductively fluttering her big beautiful brown eyes.

  “Of course you can stay with us Faith, but what are we gonna to do with this guy?” Thomas said in a horrible French accent while pointing to Gabe. “Come on upstairs. Hope is going to just explode when she sees you guys.”

  The front door to the tiny apartment crashed open. Struggling to contain his excitement Thomas said, “Hope, you will never believe what I found outside.”

  Hope, full of purpose and deep in focus, looked up from her pile of work. “No waaayyyyy!” Hope screamed as she jumped to her feet. “I can’t believe it!”

  “They’re here for the social, and they’re hoping to stay with us,” Thomas said with his chest pushed out, arms around both visitors, full of pride from what he had found.

  “Faith, you’re looking so good! Your hair is so cute. I love it!” Hope giggled as she grabbed Faith by the hands. “You look so healthy and amazing. Time has been sooo good to you. And Gabe, get over here and give me a hug. It’s been too long. We’ve missed you both more than you know.”

  “Look what else I have,” Thomas said to Hope with a voice cloaked in mystery.

  “Not only did I get fresh vegetables, but Mrs. Cleary totally hooked me up. Two fresh fish and,” Thomas paused for emphasis as he reached deep into his inside pocket. “Nectar of the gods,” he exclaimed as he slid the bottle out from his jacket. Upon seeing the bottle emerge from the canvas jacket, Hope, Gabe, and Faith gasped at their good fortune.

  Collecting the garments she had just repaired, Hope skipped to the doorway like a young schoolgirl. “I’ll be right back. I just want to drop these off with Helen before we settle in for dinner. I promised to have them done this afternoon, and you know what they say, 'work before pleasure'”, Hope shouted as she bounced out the door.

  As Hope turned the corner, out from behind the counter Missy jumped with fright. “What the heck Hope! You scared the pee out of me!” Missy complained clutching her chest. Missy was a student who
used to go to the community college in Clearview. She’d been working with Helen and Cal since the time before the brown outs when the store was always busy. Missy had become like family to Helen and Cal. They depended on her, and she had never let them down.

  “I’m sorry Missy. Whach ya so freaked out about? It’s just me,” Hope asked exaggerating her disbelief with wide crazy eyes. “Can you give these to Helen for me? I have one more blouse that I haven’t gotten to yet, but I’ll finish it first thing in the morning. I hope that’s OK,” Hope said feeling a bit embarrassed about not finishing all the items.

  Missy smiled and said, “I’m sure it’s fine. Helen saw Tommy and his friends race upstairs earlier. She understands.”

  “Are we still on for tomorrow night? Julian is feeling about the same, but he’s not contagious or anything. We could really use a night out,” Hope said anticipating Missy reply.

  “Of course we’re on. I wouldn’t want to stand in the way of a famous rock star,” Missy said poking fun at Hope. “All joking aside, I wish I could be there to hear you play. Your fingers are amazing on the strings of that guitar.”

  “Thanks, Missy. That means a lot to me. We’re leaving at six-thirty and should be home around eleven. Sound good?” Hope confirmed gently nodding her head.

  “I’ll be there no matter what. No need to worry. I’ll take great care of Julian. Everything will be fine,” Missy said encouragingly.

  The oil spat and spattered as the fresh fish and vegetables cooked on the propane stove. Thomas tenderly flipped the homemade pan bread as the smell of baking swirled through the small apartment.

  “That smells wonderful. I’m so hungry,” Hope said picking at the bread.

  “Wait till we eat, girl. Go get that wine open so it can breathe,” Thomas said patting Hope’s butt.

  “Thanks so much for letting us stay here. Tomorrow night is going to be a blast,” Faith said as she pulled out a chair at the table and sat next to Gabe.

  “So how have things been in Impel? Our town is still a mess,” Gabe said, stealing a yellow bell pepper off the serving plate.